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After Gordon Brown’s official resignation as Prime Minister, the Queen has been activated and David Cameron sworn in as the first Conservative PM in history unable to maintain his election without Liberal assistance—though he claims he won’t need a fiscal stimulus.
- Passengers pissing themselves after RyanAir announce plans to charge for toilet use
- Handbag thief ‘would not pirate a movie’: concedes that he would steal a car, kill a dog, rape a pensioner
- Pound falls against dollar whilst dollar falls against pound: mathematical impossibility ‘proves the economy is really screwed’ explain economists
After the first televised leaders’ debate showed a shocked public an unrecognisably generic-looking man in a shiny yellow tie called ‘Nick Clegg’ who was better at talking than two other men, opinion polls have suggested that this ‘Clegg’ may get 33% of the vote but only 16% of the seats in parliament, which some people think seems quite mean.
The battle for Britain has kicked off and the lines have been drawn as election fever takes off across the country in a wave of mixed metaphors and manifestos. Get the low-down on the documents at the heart of this three-horse race for the light at the end of recession with KTAB’s in-depth analysis.
Prime Minister Gordon Brown was this week forced to hit out at critics in the wake of accusations that he shoved, scared and shouted at staff, made in a sneak preview of a book in Sunday’s Observer, and further stirred by claims from the National Bullying Helpline.