KTAB News: bringing you the NEWS you NEED to KNOW

Front page Editorial Multimedia World UK Sci & Tech Business Entertainment Politics Sport Subscribe [NEW!!] Syndicate: RSS 2.0

Here's Johnny

A man, a plan, a canoe, Panama

‘john, anne and panama’

John Darwin, who ‘died’ in a ‘canoeing’ ‘accident’ five years ago, has been arrested on suspicion of being a berk after letting someone put a photograph of him, captioned with his name and dated 2006, on the Web.

The image of Darwin and wife Anne was found on a Panama property developer’s website. It was stumbled across by a nosy parker who did a Google Image Search for ‘john, anne and panama’. After sending the photo to the cops and the Daily Mirror, she told the paper ‘I’d like to nominate them for “World’s Dumbest” awards. Not only were they photographed but the date was actually on the picture. It was just too good to be true.’

KTAB News would like to nominate the nosy single mum for ‘World’s Dumbest but Flukiest’ awards for imagining that Googling two people’s first names and a country would return any useful results. The Mirror is thought to be headhunting her for a permanent position on their research team.

The search was inspired by news that Darwin had turned himself in at a London police station on December 1st, claiming that he could not remember anything since his disappearance in 2002. He was arrested shortly afterwards. A medical examination followed to determine his fitness for interview, and doctors confirmed that he was indeed not dead.

After questioning by police, Darwin has today appeared in court to be charged with fraud and deception.

His wife Anne has now returned to the UK from Panama, via Miami to sell her story to the tabloids. Police arrested her on touchdown.

Police sources say that Darwin has requested bail, telling officers ‘I would like to go on a kayaking trip with my wife. I may be some time.’


Help KTAB News! Share this story: Twitter del.icio.us Digg reddit Facebook StumbleUpon ; subscribe; follow us on Twitter; become a fan on Facebook

KTAB News: Attempting satire, comedy, spoof, parody and lampoon since 2002
© Andrew Steele, John Trevor-Allen & Tom Fuller 2003–2019