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Bear Unrest-ities

Gibbons home after teddy row Baloo over

Gillian Gibbons smiling at Heathrow

Gillian Gibbons on hearing that Gordon Brown is going to name a teddy bear after her

A British schoolteacher in Sudan jailed for naming a teddy bear ‘Muhammad’ has now been allowed to come home after it emerged that this was totally unreasonable and stupid.

Gillian Gibbons, originally from Liverpool, was arrested after it emerged that she had created a diary on the bear’s behalf with a picture of the bear and the words ‘my name is Muhammad’ on the cover.

The naming came about when a teddy bear was brought in as part of the year’s theme of bears. Mrs Gibbons put the name of the bear to a class vote and, unlike the bastards on Blue Peter, went along with the name which the children had voted for.

‘It is totally unacceptable to name anything Muhammad except the Prophet Muhammad,’ explained unrepresentative extremist Muslim Muhammad al-Bighus, ‘It’s like calling a Cambridge college Christ’s, Corpus Christi or Jesus. How could doing something as crass as comparing their Lord to a pile of bricks not offend a Christian?’

a teddy bear

Muhammad the bear (KTAB News cannot show the bear’s face for legal reasons)

Most Muslims were significantly less outraged than Mr al-Bighus. ‘It’s clearly just a cultural misunderstanding,’ explained most of the Islamic community in one voice, ‘It’s a good job that President Omar al-Bashir let her go, and we hope that all the World’s Muslims are not tarred with the same brush.’

Culturally sensitive British commentators had suggested that threatening to name many more inanimate objects ‘Muhammad’ might provide some leverage over the Sudanese government. However, more subtle negotiation tactics by two Muslim British peers, Lord Ahmed and Baroness Warsi, secured her release before a mass cull of nouns had to be effected.

Speaking at Heathrow Airport, Mrs Gibbons sounded only slightly naïve, singing the praises of Sudan, its justice system and its prisons. ‘The cell I stayed in was really comfy. The bed was really comfy. Fit for a king. In fact, it was worthy of Muh…’ she said, before being bundled away by Lord Ahmed with his hand over her mouth.

The bear was not available for comment.


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