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Voters Rob Mugabe

Half Zimbabwe to democracy

Opposition MDC party leader Morgan Tsvangirai

Morgan Tsvangirai has refused to keep from making his ‘victory wave’ until the official result is out. |photo: Wikipedia

Greeted with news that opposition leaders in Zimbabwe had declared victory in the country’s elections, clinching a majority over the oppressive Zanu-PF for the first time since 1980, incumbent Robert Mugabe declared ‘OK…how about best of three?’

Worldwide, speculation is rife about what happens next and its consequences for the future of Zimbabwe, Africa and despotic regimes around the World. KTAB has compiled this handy FAQ to guide you through the ups and downs of an electoral process completely derailed by the electorate’s not handing a landslide to ‘Big Rob’.

Have the results been officially confirmed yet?

Although results of the presidential election in Zimbabwe have yet to be officially announced, a presidential aide close to Mr Mugabe has recently been seen at a small branch of William Hill attempting to place a late bid on the opposition candidate Morgan Tsvangirai, leader of the Movement for Democratic Change.

What happens next?

Once the leading Zanu-PF let the electoral commission release the results, the next step should be a run-off election for president, pitting Mugabe against nearly-victor-this-time Tsvangirai. This will be followed by Mugabe releasing his militias, followed by a second vote.

So what does this mean for democracy?

Zanu-PF Secretary for Voter Care Francis Bargle told us that the coming days are likely to be a testbed for international democracy. ‘In essence,’ he told us, ‘Zimbabwe is undergoing another independence. If Mugabe is forced from power by the will of the electorate, that will send a very strong message to governments all over the world: “Do not hold elections. They only cause trouble.” The West could learn from that sort of message.’

How will the outcome affect the people of Zimbabwe?

‘The situation here is very tense,’ said poverty-stricken teenager Marvin Wilcox, ‘We are all very worried that, if Mugabe is forced out of office, he will be forced to come and live here in the slums of Harrare, and we will have to go and listen to the old fool bang on about his glory days, and how back when he was in charge you could by a loaf of bread for less than $20,000,000, and still have change for a ballot fix.’

 

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