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Obama inauguration awes nation

Change loose, Bush whacked as Barack sworn in

Barack Obama, President of the United States of America

Key points

  • Bush no longer US President

World reaction

  • European leaders chuffed, send predictable, clichéd congratulations
  • Zimbabwe tells US ‘black presidents not all they’re cracked up to be’
  • Weather: reaction cold
  • Undiscovered Amazonian tribes confused

The preceding eight years of US Election coverage have finally drawn to a close with President-Elect Barack Obama taking the Oath of Allegiance and becoming President Barack Obama, President of the United States of America.

Barack Obama’s inauguration could not come on a more significant day. The weather was −4°C, and there are four Gospels in the Lincoln Bible, which was provided by the Library of Congress for the occasion. Not only that, but the number 4, multiplied by 5—the number of children Obama has, if you look at it upside-down—makes 20: the very date of the ceremony, and Martin Luther King’s favourite number.

At 47, Obama is 10 years younger than George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were at their inaugurations. Expectations are high to witness what a man of such calibre will be able to do with an extra decade to complete, edit and censor his memoirs after being replaced by Sarah Palin in 2012.

The outgoing President and Veep sat in on the occasion, in joint places of honour with several hundred senators, including former Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Vice President Dick Cheney watched proceedings whilst sat in a wheelchair, having pulled a muscle moving boxes. Anyone who says he accidentally shot himself whilst out hunting is lying.

Security at the event was tight, with the constitutional right to bear arms overridden for the occasion. A long, non-exclusive list of items were banned, ranging from umbrellas and large bags to congratulatory signs and high-calibre sniper rifles. Helicopter gunships and F-18s patrolled the sky, watching for stray flocks of geese. Punters hoping to watch the event in the seating area nearest to the incoming President were forced to undergo cavity searches whilst stark naked, with their clothes and dignity reconstructed with CGI on the official video feeds.

Meanwhile, on the Internet, millions of ’bloggers sat poised to press ‘post’ and spew anodyne euphoria at the moment Obama completed the oath, in a bid to feel like more than an insignificant cog in the historic occasion. This collective ‘’bloggasm’ has not been seen on such as scale since the New Year, when 1,723 people simultaneously compained that the fireworks weren’t as good as the ones for the Olympics.

 

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