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Kiddies’ porn

Children arrested for possessing images of child abuser

David Harper as the Fat Controller

The disgusting image as republished in a horrified press. (You’ve got to love anti-paedos. So long as they’re over 16, of course. -- Ed)

photo: Forest of Dean Council

Fifteen children have been arrested by Gloucestershire Police after being found in possession of images depicting a convicted paedophile.

Pictures of David Harper, 66, dressed as Thomas the Tank Engine’s Fat Controller in a Forest of Dean Council advertising pamphlet were detected by child protection sleuths, who coordinated a sting operation in the park, just next to the slides. ‘Clearly, we’ve been able to strike a hefty blow at a major ring of paedophiliaphiles today,’ Detective Marvin Wilcox told a press conference.

Hysterical local mother Claire Timkins said, ‘I can’t believe that kind of filth were operating openly in this neighbourhood. I hope that the addresses of these criminals will be kept on record, so that we will all be safe from the clawing hands of photographed child-abusers.’

Fortunately, the ContactPoint database of all under-18s in the UK was launched this morning by children’s secretary Ed Balls, amidst criticism from civil liberties groups. The system, dubbed PaedoFile, will be accessible to doctors, police and social workers, or to anyone who sits in a seat previously occupied by a civil servant on a train.

‘We can’t guarantee children’s safety, but we certainly can guarantee that we know who exists, as part of our joined-up campaign to know everything,’ government IT officer Francis Bargle told reporters, ‘Although the CIA are beating us, having bought Facebook.’

Meanwhile, Forest of Dean Council have decided not to recall the indecent pamphlets despite a national press furore. Forest manager Marvin Wilcox told KTAB, ‘We learned about this problem through a newspaper which pointed out that the image of an ex-member of staff otherwise unrecognisable as a paedophile had been left in the advert. There were obvious fears that he may have been able to use Wikka—or worse—to attack multiple youths simultaneously, but there was little we could do. Still, we have all been reminded of how vigilant we must remain to keep paedophiles out of our adverts, but in our papers.’

Also in the news, a hairdresser in Leeds has been arrested, accused of child grooming.


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