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Bomber’s away

Lockerbie Libyan let off Scot free

Colonel Gadaffi sneaks in a snooze behind reflective shades

Gordon Brown told Gadaffi at the recent G8 summit: ‘So, Colonel, it is absolutely crucial that you do not give Megrahi a hero’s welcome if we, I mean the Scots, release him. Is that clear? Are you listening? Muammar?’

Gordon Brown has this week spoken of being ‘repulsed’ by Libya’s welcome of released Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi. ‘It was disgusting. Those blasted Libyans have never given me a “hero’s welcome” with Scottish flags,’ he grumbled, ‘And I’ve never had a hug from Colonel Gadaffi.’

His scathing but extremely specific criticism continues his days of silence on whether he supports or opposes the release itself, which has sparked an ethical furore on both sides of the Atlantic.

Critics of the release claim that it shows Scotland up as a ‘soft touch’ when it comes to terrorism, and invites further terrorist attacks. ‘The failed Glasgow bombers would never have tried it on if they’d thought there was a risk of prison afterwards,’ explained terrorologist Roger Bighouse, ‘A suicide bomber would rather die than go to prison. Um…which is a big incentive to make sure your bomb goes off properly first time, thus netting you 72 virgins instead of getting punched in the face whilst on fire.’

Nowhere has criticism been more fierce than the USA. ‘Scotland made a disgusting, repugnant, nauseating error in releasing Megrahi,’ explained senior FBI agent Francis Bargle, ‘It is America’s avowed policy to miss the big picture on terrorism. We could present a united, compassionate West since Scotland has now released the convicted felon; but it is our duty to bring knee-jerk, heavy-handed justice upon terrorists, and countries they may have visited on holiday. And never drink Scotch again.’

However, political analyst Marvin Wilcox contends that Scottish Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill should be released from the explosion of criticism on compassionate grounds. ‘The evidence of his involvement in Megrahi’s release is purely circumstantial,’ Bargle told KTAB, ‘OK, he gave a a short sermon about it, but he may well have been part of a wider conspiracy to cement trade ties with Libya. His career is terminally ill, and independent experts have given him three months at the most; he deserves to be allowed to spend some time with his salary.’


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