The sixteen million dollar pension: Sir Fred not shy about retiring

Consternation has been widespread as it was revealed that Sir Fred Goodwin, who last month stepped down as chief of RBS, would be receiving a seven hundred thousand million bajillion pound pension, as a reward for retiring early and not driving the bank any further into the ground.

Sweet deal: Last ever pick ’n’ mix bags hundreds and thousands

The last ever bag of Woolworth’s pick ’n’ mix sold this week on eBay for £14,500, which might have been more of an achievement if they hadn’t already sold all of the store fixtures for 50p. And the £14,500 hadn’t gone to charity.

Labour’s three will: Government gives green light to ungreen runway

In the wake of the success at Terminal 5, the UK government has approved a third runway and sixth terminal to upgrade Heathrow from World’s busiest airport to definitely World’s busiest airport, no contest, by 2020.

Over–pi-rated: Tanker hijack indicates Somali piracy a Sirius problem

The first ever audio report from KTAB News sees intrepid reporter Hugh Dudman investigating the Somali piracy crisis from his desk.

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Taking a pounding: ‘Tortured’ economy failed by government

An outraged public has demanded to know why so-called experts ignored all the warning signs that money moguls were unfit to care for a vulnerable and fragile market.

Not building society: Banks admit high self-interest rates

As thousands of people today realised that their mortgages are currently costing them more than the value of their house, and as the government was forced to admit that more children and pensioners were living in poverty than this time last year, the financial sector today suggested it might be time ‘to start lending money responsibly.’ Maybe.

Fare play: Customers signal reservations over ticket prices

Plans to ‘simplify’ UK rail fares have drawn criticism from passenger groups after it emerged that train operators were using a little-known eleventh-century definition of ‘simplify’ which means ‘to make more expensive’.

Darling denies downturn: End of the crashless economy?

Chancellor Alistair Darling has attempted to reassure the public that in spite of the woes facing global financial markets, things are still looking up for the UK economy, predicting 'massive growth in the repossession and bankruptcy sector.'

Chilling Threat: Russia turns down heat on Ukraine

Russia finally ended its cutting of Ukrainian gas supplies today after agreeing that, yes, Ukraine could buy the gas at the Russian-proposed four-fold increase in price, even though it had taken a three-day cut in supplies to convince them that this was good value.