Protest by giving US products silly names!

A café owner in Market Pickton has re-named many of his American foodstuffs in protest at current US attitudes towards Iraq.

“After hearing that some bloody damn Yank had re-named bloody French Fries ‘Freedom Fries’, I just had to do something,” Marvin Wilcox told Passenger’s Irrelevant Public Interest Story correspondent.

Now, a quick visit to Wilcox’s ‘Fast Food Emporium’ allows you to sample such delights as ‘Killer Cola’, ‘Kentucky Fried Civilian’ or a ‘Dessert Storm’ ice-cream. As his pun repertoire develops, he plans to fan out into products taking the Mick out of American foreign policy throughout its short and ignoble history.Passenger interviewed still-Government Minister Clare Short about the move: “I went in and saw the disgraceful re-naming and decided not to buy anything,” she said, reticently, “I don’t support war, but we can’t be seen to be opposing the Americans!” Passenger supported Ms Short on her moral stance, but was surprised when she continued: “Five minutes later I was feeling a bit peckish and changed my mind, but this in no way damages my credibility as a decisive customer.”

To provide balance and contrast in the article, we then interviewed not-still-Government Minister Robin Cook: “I’m glad to see there’s still some people prepared to do something about this war!” he said, throwing another dart into a picture of Clare Short to cheers from Tony Blair and William Hague.

Curiously enough, the French do not appear to care about the American name changes. Just as America does not seem to care about Mr Wilcox’s protest, the recent disarmament moves in Iraq, the lack of UN support, or public opinion anywhere in the rest of the World.