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Tuesday, 27 January, 2004, 20:06 GMT
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Golden Robes
Jackson Dresses for Oscar Success

Golden Globe Award
Matt LeBlanc, passed over for an award, threatened to 'Find Gervais and shove this...'
There have been shocks at the Golden Globes as Ricky Gervais, lead actor in British sitcom 'The Office,' and Peter Jackson, maker of an appalling cinema adaptation of JRR Tolkien's 'The Lord of The Rings' both come away with prizes.

"Here I am, this fat bloke from Reading sharing a room with Jack Nicholson, Bill Murray and Michael Douglas. It's fantastic!" said an amazed Gervais.

Success at the Globes is often seen in the showbiz world as a precursor to success at the Oscars, and it's hoped that Peter Jackson will go on to Oscar success if, as with the Globes, none of the judges have ever read 'Lord of the Rings'.

Jackson himself refused to say how high his hopes were of winning an Oscar for his films, explaining that he 'tends not to think in such competitive terms,' and because, if he told the press how high his hopes really were, he’d still be explaining why he was pleased with himself six weeks after the actual ceremony.

However, film critics remain convinced that Jackson is in with a chance. "There’s a new category," explained the popular pundit 'Dr' Bargle, "For the most fight scenes needlessly bulked out with impressive CGI and faltering dramatic dialogue. It's been made especially so Lord of the Rings can win something! After all, it's perhaps a bit premature to award it 'film of the millennium'."

Despite Bargle's confident criticism, however, around 84% of those asked, in a KTAB online poll, believed that the third dose of Jackson’s impressive adaptation is in with a good chance of winning 'Best Film' at the Oscars, despite the cruel back-stabbing NewLine perpetrated against Christopher Lee.

"I firmly believe the film should win!" squeaked young teenage fan Marvin Wilcox.

"I've yet to read the books, of course, but, if whoever it was that wrote them made the bit with Legolas and the elephant as dramatic as it was in the film then you can count me in for a whole hour's reading!"

On the whole, popular opinion appears to favour a Jackson victory; even leaving aside his obvious attempt to placate fans of the books by explaining how he’d like to 'pay tribute to Professor Tolkien for his incredible book,' the said fans are pretty sure the film will storm to victory. "It was a good try..." conceded Clare Timkins, a hard-line fan from Surrey, "and it's not like the Oscars are about anything but CGI anyway!"

Shortly after the ceremony Gollum was reportedly seen rushing from the scene clutching a Golden Globe and hissing loudly to himself. "It sure beats the One Ring!" he told reporters, "And an Oscar would be even better!" Gollum declined to comment on the rumours that he intends to shove Jackson, screaming, into Mount Doom in a bid to steal all the popularity.


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