Editorial

Bernard Vs. Hutton

Fighting against censorship, the government and the best advice of everyone here at KTAB, Bernard, the Editor, has cast off his wedding ring to write an Editoral on the Hutton Report.

Good Morning to all readers of KTAB News! I write this editorial from within my concrete bunker, which, hopefully, will protect me from getting my nice new suit spattered with the whitewash currently being thrown around by the Hutton Report.

The BBC are not, of course, permitted to directly say that Lord Hutton appears to have been more biased than a Government lackey, and the same is true of KTAB News. Which is a pity, because if I could, I should be shouting it from the rooftops. Either that, or sneaking about up there with a sniper rifle, of course.

Not that I want this to be taken as pro-revolutionary talk, of course; I'm not trying to bring down the Government, but that's only because to do that I'd have to hope that they'd listen to me, a voter.

No, what's really got on my wick is the way the Government is using the whitewash of the Hutton report to try and muzzle the BBC. There's one thing that I loathe above all else - including the Prime Minister - and that's people trying to stop the Editors of News Corporations saying what they like. I simply can't stand it, and I'd say so to anyone that would listen, if only my wife would let me.

She never does of course, because Mrs Bernard is the sort of woman that, frankly, should never have become Mrs Bernard, although she'd quite like to be Mrs Bernard the widow, apparently. She objects to my running KTAB News for two reasons, as far as I can tell: firstly, I enjoy it, and secondly I can say what I like. If she could stop me, she would.

Which explains why I'm so livid with the Government and the Hutton Report for their shameless attacks on the BBC; all the BBC did was report the opinions of an expert and yes, they made some mistakes, but we all make mistakes – getting married, for example – and now the lovely old Independent Beeb are getting bashed because of it.

That damn report hadn't been out for two hours, you know, before my Wife decided she was going to try and get me in the same way the Government got Gavyn Davies and Greg Dyke. It's so unfair! It's not as if I've ever criticised her! All I do is have a pop at the Government for giving the evil old witch ideas, and so would you, if you lived with her.

Lots of love, except to Mrs Bernard,
Bernard, the Editor.