Scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratories were this week putting the finishing touches to a probe designed to explore the farthest regions of uncharted emptiness; the back of the lab sofa.

After the US government introduced heavy funding cuts, the Kuiper Express mission to Pluto had to be abandoned, and this mission took its place. “I don’t think NASA are dumbing down, no, certainly not,” said press officer Marvin Wilcox, “This is one small step for man, a giant seat to look behind.”

We know more about space than we do about our own oceans, and the back of sofas is an area with which mankind is even less familiar. Preliminary images show old socks, crushed crisps, even what looks like an old book. Excitement is mounting about what other things might be found. “We think remote controls, old magazines and perhaps even some mould, all sorts of exciting things,” said Wilcox, “and I think one of our technicians is rather hoping we might get a sighting of her wedding ring.”

Scientists also hope that the mission may be the turning point for NASA’s floundering finances. “Predictions from our data suggest that there is somewhere between £350 and £400 in coppers back there,” said Wilcox, “And that’s going to more than double what we’ve got in our coffers.”

The mission will blast off at the end of the month if all goes smoothly, and further follow-up missions are already planned for 2004, including a fly-by of the armchair and maybe even a lander to an as-yet-undecided piece of soft furniture.

If the mission achieves its objectives, we should have images of some of the least accessible objects in our Universe. The information collected by this first mission will lead the way for many to follow, perhaps even some international efforts. Some think that the rush to explore sofas will lead to an international Sofa Race; “America is in a good position to win,” said President Bush, “Mah sofa has wheels.”