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Terror forming
Geoengineering climate solutions ‘of cirrus concern’
The solution to the problems caused by mankind dicking about with the climate is to dick about with the climate some more, according to media coverage of a report by the Royal Society. So-called ‘geoengineering’ techniques range from sending a fleet of fire trucks to the Sun, to ignoring the problem and hoping it goes away.
File-staring: Peer to peer at peer-to-peer pirates
After lunch on a luxury yacht with film producer and anti-piracy bore David Geffen, Peter ‘Lord’ Mandelson has rewritten government policy, suggesting that those who share files on the Internet be cut off from it. ‘Illegal filesharing is costing the creative industries literally tens of pounds a day,’ Lord Mandelson explained, ‘Whereas posturing about cleaning it up is making me a packet.’
Moo-ve over BSE: This is one pig of a disease
In a unique foray into public health, KTAB News has created a brochure about the imminent pandemic threat of swine flu for you to download, print out and keep.
Don’t-be-evil eye: Google getting street worries people in da house
Google, everyone’s favourite search engine, webmail, and RSS aggregator, but no-one’s favourite calendar, this week launched its Street View service, amid claims of privacy-pocalypse due to a picture of a bloke having a piss reprinted so many times in the national press that the hysterical journalists proved themselves right.
Anti-social networking: Prof loses face in Facebook face-off
Eminent academic Susan Greenfield this week decided to abuse her position as media-flirt extraordinaire and pontificate on ills which might result from people using the Internet, forgetting that her rôle as a scientist might require evidence to support her claims.
Blade hit-and-runner: Aliens ate my turbine
The national press, UFO experts and other idiots have got themselves terribly worked up about an engineering fault in a wind turbine blade in Lincolnshire last Sunday.
Turned on: Collider start-up gives nerds large hardon
Scientists at CERN have flicked the switch allowing protons around the ring of the Large Hadron Collider for the first time, resulting in the largest concentration of arts-graduate journo-bullshit in human history. And not the end of the World.
ConCERNs allayed: Quark quacks’ apocalypse claims go up in big bang
All around the world, doomsayers, false prophets, and people who didn’t bother to put that money back in the pension fund because ‘What’s the point of anything?’ have been left baffled today, as the proposed apocalypse failed to happen. To find out why, KTAB sent a reporter out to interview a particle physicist.
Apple of my i: iPhone fails to push the right buttons
To the squealing delight of those present, Steve Jobs—the hugely popular inventor of the cult adverts where two comedians pretended to be computers—has unveiled the successor to Apple’s touch-screen iPhone: the iPhone 3G, which takes its name from its ability to access the 3G, the high-capacity mobile network which was rolled out over Europe in 2003.
GM Crops: KTAB News Special Video Report
The ''KTAB News'' special report on genetically-modified crops, jam-packed with exclusive interviews, facts and statistics (with nice, safe, GMO-free jam, of course).
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