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Former US President Bill Clinton returned from North Korea today after single-handedly (with his entourage) retrieving two American journalists who had been incarcerated after a visa mix-up whilst filming a documentary for Al Gore’s Current TV in March.
Aghast newspapers, critics of the UK involvement in Afghanistan, and people with little understanding of modelling random events involving small numbers, this week heralded the ‘deadliest day’ in the war’s history, with a staggering eight deaths occurring in a single twenty-four–hour period.
World leaders have been queuing up to slap Gordon Brown on the back and hail the conclusion of the G20 summit ‘historic’, for fear that use of any more specific adjectives might let slip the fact no-one has the faintest idea what’s going on.
A Royal Navy and a French nuclear submarine have both limped back to port after a prang during a routine prowl around the mid-Atlantic awaiting the command to end the World.
Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has promised Hamas a ‘disproportionate’ response to any rocket attack ‘because a proportionate one would be to push over a wall, which is both a waste of time, and a really dangerous precendent. Get away from my fence with that drill!!’
President-elected Barack Obama has left heads spinning, having reverted or fundamentally altered many of his predecessor’s policies. Presidential aide Claire Timkins told KTAB: ‘It didn’t actually take that much effort. The Bush administration had turned policies so far to the right that they were almost at 180º anyway.’
The preceding eight years of US Election coverage have finally drawn to a close with President-Elect Barack Obama taking the Oath of Allegiance and becoming President Barack Obama, President of the United States of America.
In what they hope to be a knockout blow to Gaza’s Hamas leadership, the Israeli Defence Force have managed to kill interior minister Said Siyad, damaging only three hospitals, killing only six other people, giving rise to mild threats of retaliation, and using only ever-so-slightly illegal white phosphorous (WP) munitions to set fire to a key UN humanitarian aid depot in the process.
Western leaders have been quick to condemn the continuing campaigns of violence from both Israel and Hamas, asking that they discuss their differences rationally, like children, instead of acting like a bunch of stroppy adults with an army and missiles.
In a decade-defining moment, the United States of America this week elected its first Democrat president for almost eight years.
Consternation has gripped the Middle East after Iran tested a new range of ballistic missiles. The weapons’ reported range is 1,242 miles, or approximately half a Middle East—‘Which is pretty handy if you’re in the middle, eh?!’ joked Iranian general General Bighouse, scratching his trigger finger.
Greeted with news that opposition leaders in Zimbabwe had declared victory in the country's elections, clinching a majority over the oppressive Zanu-PF for the first time since 1980, incumbent Robert Mugabe declared 'OK... how about best of three?'
The Tories today tried to take Labour to task over breaking manifesto promises, recommending that MPs vote for a referendum about the sexed-down EU constitution.
Following his unexpected win in last week's Russian Presidential elections, the mysterious victor Dmitry Medvedev has promised radical reform of his country, intending to act in stark contrast to his predecessor, Vladimir Putin.
A British schoolteacher in Sudan jailed for naming a teddy bear 'Muhammad' has now been allowed to come home after it emerged that this was totally unreasonable and stupid.
Controversy, deaths and the charred remains of embassies lie in the wake of the continuing protests over some not-very-funny cartoons published in Danish paper Jyllands-Posten last year.
Russia this week accused British diplomatic officials of collaborating with workers from Russian NGOs to spy on them. The "spies" allegedly loitered suspiciously around a "fake rock" containing a wireless transceiver which downloaded secret data from their pocket PCs.
With human bird flu cases now confirmed as far west as the fringes of Europe, an emergency summit was called in China inviting countries to donate funds before the virus mutates into a form which might make it dangerous to rich people who don't live with their chickens.
The IAEA will shortly decide whether or not to refer Iran to the UN Security Council for trying to bring its electricity system up to speed with those in the West.